What is Your Communication Style?

I was forced to think about this yesterday.

I received an email via my design website DotsnDashes.

The email was sent using my contact form. Now I get many different emails via that medium. Some ask for quotes, others for link building, some for information and so on. On average, they are normal emails, some casual, some formal but none bordering on rudeness. However, the one I received yesterday was a tiny bit different.

I’ll be able to explain more effectively if I show you how it starts:

Starting off with a suggestion, (should have done it with Salam though).. you should think about giving the entry tabs on this page a border (or shadow), talking about the contact form, because its kinda hard on the eyes to figure out where to click and start writing. I’m pointing out such a small thing, but probably that’s because I think every thing else I saw neat as a new pin.

Seriously that is exactly how it started.

My reactions was:

Who is this person?
What is his problem?
Where is he coming from?

I don’t mind criticism although I prefer to receive solicited one. What got to me was the tone and the way in which it was given. Had this person started off with introducing themselves and then gone on to add: ‘Oh btw I had a hard time filling the contact form…’, I would have been more receptive.

So what are the lessons here?

1. Always be polite especialy if you are sending an unsolicited message and especially if it contains criticism that was unasked for.
2. Introduce yourself before going into criticism attack with your first line. Introduction first. Criticism later. Even then think twice about what needs to be said and how. If someone did not ask for it they are not going to take it well. At the very least their perception of you is not going to be a good one. Wrong start in other words.
3. Remember that your opinion is just that and not facts hard set in stone. For example this guy thinks the tabs at my site will look better if they had a drop shadow. I disagree completely. Neither of us is wrong, it is just different design decisions. On the other hand, his concern over the contact form is more valid. Had he just stuck to that, he would solidified his position.

After his first para, the guy introduced himself and asked for advice over payment processors. I promptly sent him affiliate links for two of them. I figured that was the least he deserved

What About You?

So what about you? Are you like this person? Do you write emails without thinking them through?

Or are you at the other end of the stick and have received such queries?

Do share. One can learn something from everything.

Tags: Communication, Criticism, Design, Email, Feedback, Unsolicited